'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
