If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
