fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
no, he came in my armpit
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
