I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
