I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
