i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
