he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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