They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
