I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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