Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
