I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Are my feet made of real feet?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
