areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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