I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Im just a social blackout drinker.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
