I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
