today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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