I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
