Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
