"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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