He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
