I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
