So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
