I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
