I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
