If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
