We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How's work?
Spinning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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