I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
