How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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