Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
