No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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