I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
