he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
