I look better un-naked...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
