Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
