Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just tell him i said nine months
Welp...herpes.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
