Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Go christen that room with your naked body.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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