Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
