Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
