So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I had to cum in my sink.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
