We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
