i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
