She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
