So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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