yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
