a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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