hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Im part way to drunk.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
