Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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