I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
