My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
