So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
