So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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