So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
