i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
