4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
